It's just after midnight here in Germany. I'm sitting at my desk eating Ben and Jerry's Super Fudge Chunk ice cream and writing a story book for Sarah. The book is 24 pages long. It is all about Princess Sarah going on an airplane to America to see Grandma and Grandpa. In the book she says goodbye to Papa, Jessica, Nicole and Thomas. She gets to eat cookies and watch movies on the airplane. At Grandma and Grandpas house she plays in the garden and eats apples. After 9 days she comes home. Papa, and Jessica, Nicole, and Thomas are waiting for her. She gets to take Mickey for a walk when they get home. I just printed the book out. I'm going to have Nicole draw some pictures for me on the pages. I hope to read Sarah this book over and over until we go to America so she really knows what to expect. I hope it helps!

I told Sarah again this morning that I would be the one picking her up from school. I also said Papa would be at work, and I would have cookies and a drink waiting for her in the car. We would go pick Philip up after school. When I picked her up, she looked sad like she would begin to cry! Then you could see her playing our dialogue over like a tape player in her brain. She asked if I brought the cookies. I said yes, and she waved goodbye to everyone. It was cute! The car window was opened. She shouted to all the people on the street, "Goodbye, see you tomorrow"! She looked like a princess waving to people in a parade! Thank God for progress. Now I need to train her to gracefully say goodbye to her Papa at the airport! Goodbye Papa...see you next week! There will be cookies waiting on the airplane and apple pie at Grandmas house. You can count on it!

I forgot to post about a waiting child. This weeks child can be found here. She is only one and a half years old. Her special need is Hepatitis B . When you are born with Hepatitis B , your body does not generally recognize the virus. It doesn't generally make them sick at all. You as a care taker can get a vaccination against the virus, so it would not effect you either. I'm not saying it's a non issue...but it isn't such a big deal either! Maybe one in 5 people in China are Hepatitis B +. This is a very easy to manage SN. Isn't she just beautiful!!! Sorry, but only married US citizens can apply to adopt this special needs child.

Sarah cried again when I picked her up from the kindergarten. At least she stayed in her car seat. I brought cookies and yogurt drink. She would not stop crying until after we got Philip (my poor nerves)! I offered Philip the cookies and drink first. Then I asked Sarah if she wanted some too. She said yes, and I said OK...just stop crying!
We made this calendar together this afternoon. It's sort of like an advent calendar. I taped small pieces of candy for each day leading up to the day we travel to Grandma & Grandpas house (9 days). Then we made another calendar to take with us. With this calendar we will mark the days until we return home. Sarah has no concept of time. I'm hoping this calendar will help her grasp the time we go...and the time we will return! I think the daily kindergarten is also helping. She is disappointed to go, but she will come back just like I said.
I'm thinking about my own relationship with God. The longer I know him, the more I see him act faithfully. The longer I know him to be faithful, the deeper my trust. I'm praying about this trip. I can not trust in the character or behavior of Sarah. I hope she will learn to trust me. I do believe that good or bad, God will give me the help I need to get through it! I trust him!

It's 8:30 in the morning and everyone is gone. I was almost late getting Jessica on the school bus because I was dressing Sarah for kindergarten. We are going to work on the timing of things in the AM. I have a very long list of stuff to do now that I've got the time. Before I begin I'm going to make myself a fresh cup of coffee and have a long talk with God. It feels good to be alone for once. Have a good day!

I saw this cute video on Heather's blog. She just gave me some good advice on travel. I'm really open to all the advice I can get! Thank you again heather! We love, love, love Jackie Chan arround here! My son Philip is the next Jackie!

Sarah had her first day of kindergarten today. She was very excited. Juergen and I both brought her to school. She was not afraid. She kissed us both goodbye with out a problem. The problem began when I picked her up. I had to pick her up at 11:45 because I pick Philip up at noon. She was sad to go. She was also very sad her Papa wasn't there to pick her up. I told her Papa was working, but that wasn't good enough. She screamed bloody murder in the car. She took her seat belt off, and even started to hit Jessica who doesn't have school on Tuesdays. I almost didn't get to Philips school in time to pick him up. She refused to get back into her car seat for 10 minutes after we got Philip. I demanded she apologise to me and to Jessica, or I would not take her to school again! She calmed down and said sorry...both to me and to Jess. Change is so hard for Sarah. With every change, she wants her Papa, her anchor. I understand it, but I just can not give her Papa every time she wants him. We make the big trip to the USA in only 10 days. I am terrified she is going to start her uncontrollable temper tantrums in the middle of our 12 hour flight. There is nothing I can do to make it better. Please pray for me. Some how Sarah has to understand what is about to happen. She just gets so afraid of losing her Papa. She has got to really trust me!

This is from the kids festival Sarah went to on Sunday.

My big girl starts kindergarten in the morning. We took our last "Mickey" walk, and went shopped together. Tomorrow she will go to school. On the one hand I'm glad. I will have some quite moments, and the time and space to clean and organize my house. On the other hand I'm sad...I will miss this precious time I've had with my baby girl. Tomorrow she starts to grow up. There will be no turning back. All my kids will be in school. Mickey and I are on our own!

It's Friday and time again to high lite the photos of my kids. Sarah took these while we were waiting in the car for her brothers. The camera has a calming affect on Sarah. She took pictures of "us", herself, her shoes, and Jessica. If you want to link your child's photos to our page, then sign my Mr. Linky. See the world from your child's eyes...

It's set...Sarah starts kindergarten on Tuesday. She is going to be in the star group! I'm not really sure who is going to be happier, her or me? I love Sarah, but I am going to love having some time to myself. I will be very happy if she is happy in her group. Her teacher is very nice. I already met her. The kids were very welcoming. I think Sarah is going to love it (at least I hope so). I'm a much better Mom when I have a few hours a day to call my own! This is such an amazing and unplanned blessing!

All the kids are in school and Sarah wants to go to school too. I went to the large kindergarten in our area just to see if they have a place for Sarah. They must have a new director because the whole atmosphere of the place has changed. It is much nicer then I remember it. Philip went there for a short time 4 years ago. Back then we didn't like the place. Any way, I will talk with the director in one hour. It looks like Sarah could get in! She was so happy when I showed her around. She misses playing with other children. I really think it's time for her to go to kindergarten. I will also really love having my mornings back. My whole house is a mess! I need the time to clean, and get back to my garden, go to a women's Bible study, and basically find myself again! I hope it works out! I will let you know!


up date: She got the place! They didn't want her to begin until October. Sarah was playing really well and did not want to leave. The director then said she could begin on Monday. Sarah cried when we left, but calmed down when she finally understood she will get to come back soon. Now she looks so proud she could bust her buttons! She is all hugs and kisses! She is really ready to go play with other kids. I'm so glad it looks like it's going to work out.

I just found this beautiful 4 year old Chinese girl on a waiting list. She has a large scare on her elbow, this is her only special need. She is healthy, smart and normal. I would take her in a secound if Juergen would say yes, but he is happy with our 5 kids and has no energy for one more (I can not fault him for that). You can find more information about this waiting child here. Maybe she is your daughter?

The school supply thing is just an annual complaint. I personally think school teachers should give us the lists early, and write the list out in a clearer manner (5 of this kind of note book, 2 of that kind of pen). They write it like for this class you need this...and then for that class you need that. Everything is very specific, and you "must " get the details correct! It takes me hours to go through the list(s). It takes hours to label every pen and pencil. One year I ran to the store 4 different times for the "correct paper" for Nicole. They use different lined paper for every grade....crazy! It's just part of the job! The only real problem I have is teachers act like everyone only has one child (and most Germany's really do only have one child). When you have 5 kids, and they expect you to make it to every parent night, school party and festival, sports festival etc...it gets hard. We say no allot. With all the school stuff, we also have music classes, sports stuff, and church stuff. We aren't being bad parents, we just can not let every ones plans run our life. I figured out along time ago they can have their festivals with out me...I choose my activities, I must choose! I think my marriage and family would fall apart from the stress of keeping up with every ones "special" activities. I'm not the kind of person that likes my calendar full every day of the week. Maybe that's just my age. I'm going to be 46 years old next month. My poor kids really should have chosen younger parents. We just don't have the energy anymore to "do it all"! Know one should feel sorry for my kids. They still get to travel the whole world. They manage to fit a few "special" activities in now and then.

Sarah actually took a nap in my arms this afternoon. It was sweet. She is handling the kids going back to school, and Juergen's return to work pretty good. I on the other hand am super stressed. Anyone who ever had to buy school supplies in Germany would understand why. There must be over 50 separate ideas on each of my kids lists (4 lists). We get the list on the first day of school. Everyone and their mother is in the store at the same time. Stores run out of stuff. I had to go to 3 different stores. The ridiculous details can begin to give you an idea of German bureaucracy! Tonight we have visitors from out of town but I need to label every one of Thomas' pens ,and pencils, glue, paint...etc... I hate this time of year!!!

A Dog Adopted some baby squirrels. This is cute!

We got home last night after a long drive home from Texel. Sarah was very good in the car. The boys on the other hand made the trip stressful for everyone else. They just have too much energy to sit still in a car for 10 hours. There was a lot of traffic so the trip home was extra long! We have a very large list of things to do this weekend. School begins on Monday. Sarah is clinging to Juergen. She will not let him out of her sight. I guess he is just her anchor, and she needs him every time there is a change. I wish this were not so. I wish she would trust me more, but it's this way now. I hope she feels safe enough to let her papa go to work on Monday. The kids will also be going. That is a lot of change for her to deal with in one day. Philip was so "go with the flow" when he came home. Thomas gets sort of mean and demanding when he deals with change. Sarah is the worst by far. Is it any wonder? She hardly ever played outside in the SWI garden. She never went anywhere in her first 4 years. She was never in a store, the zoo, or anywhere! I take her to America in 3 weeks. I'm trying not to panic! She knows we plan to take her to see grandma. Right now she cries and says she does not want to go. I guess it's just going to take time (years) until she really believes that this wonderful thing called family isn't going to go away. I'm glad to be home. I'm not going to get caught in a trap of fear. Today is the day God has made. Today is Jessica's birthday, and I love and praise God for my beautiful daughter Jessica!

I'm following two families trips to China. Sawyer from Nanjing gets his familly next week. We took his picture when were there. Also Tova, a little girl I actually considered adopting gets her family next week.

We got our beach photos today. Look for them on our family site HERE.