IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT
First, a reprise of how ordinary hardware stores sell paint.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: We have regular quality paint for $12 a gallon and premium
paint for $18. How many gallons would you like?
Customer: Five gallons of regular paint please.
Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.
Now, imagine you are buying paint from an airline.
First you spend days trying to reach them by phone to ask if they have paint. Nobody answers. So you drive to an airline office.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I’d like some of that $9 paint
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It’s my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $9 paint?
Clerk: That would be very late at night in about three weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!
Clerk: I’ll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: Just because you see it doesn’t mean we have it. We sell only
a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $12. We don’t have any more $9 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint! yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I’ll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy paint and don’t use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of government tariffs.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don’t, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint
.
Customer: To heck with that! I’ll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: But where you want to paint we are the only paint supplier! And don’t go looking for bargains! All paint stores have the same rules. Thanks for painting with our airline. Next!
First, a reprise of how ordinary hardware stores sell paint.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: We have regular quality paint for $12 a gallon and premium
paint for $18. How many gallons would you like?
Customer: Five gallons of regular paint please.
Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.
Now, imagine you are buying paint from an airline.
First you spend days trying to reach them by phone to ask if they have paint. Nobody answers. So you drive to an airline office.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I’d like some of that $9 paint
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It’s my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $9 paint?
Clerk: That would be very late at night in about three weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!
Clerk: I’ll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: Just because you see it doesn’t mean we have it. We sell only
a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $12. We don’t have any more $9 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint! yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: Maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I’ll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy paint and don’t use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of government tariffs.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don’t, it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint
.
Customer: To heck with that! I’ll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: But where you want to paint we are the only paint supplier! And don’t go looking for bargains! All paint stores have the same rules. Thanks for painting with our airline. Next!
