A Bible verse that stands out to me today...
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I've been so fixated on going to China before the end of the year. I've wanted to have Sarah before Christmas (my own hearts desire). I've checked the airline prices. Even if we got a TA, I'm not sure we could afford the tickets anymore. So many people love to travel at Christmas time. I do lose heart! It is easy to say "Amy, just trust God". It is much harder for me personally to get to this place where I can really let go, and not even look at the outward circumstances, really just putting these concerns I have in the hands of God. If I was traveling alone, it would,I believe be easier. But I want to travel with my whole family, so we have a long list of needs (including cheap tickets, hopefully a direct flight, and a airplain that has individual video screens playing Disney movies like "CARS"). Some of you are saying to yourselves, those are not needs,those are desires. Maybe the movie "CARS" is just a desire, but I do desire it because its Thomas's favorite movie, and I want the flight to be OK for all my kids. Traveling with Jessica(she is 15 years old and has autism) is hard enough. It is a Hugh blessing if the other 3 kids are well cared for so Juergen and I can care for Jessica. I am trying to get to this place of real trust. I can not say I am really there, but I am closer. Thomas had a real melt down the other day. I wanted to get the boys a Lego advent calendar.We went to toys are us to buy it. They were out of the calendar.While we were there, Thomas saw the Lego he wants for Christmas. He really fell apart when we left the store with out buying his Christmas present. Afterwards I had to talk to him about trusting us (remember this is only his 2ND Christmas, and it is overwhelmingly exciting). He wants it so badly, and he was afraid if He didn't get it now, it was not certain it would happen. I realize I am no different then Thomas. I want Sarah so badly, and God is telling me to trust him.