This blog covers our wait, travel, and adjustment to our 4 year old adopted Chinese daughter Sarah Shui Qing from Nanjing. There are over 1000 posts. I have moved my blog to Catching Butterflies 2. I hope you will enjoy reading this blog. It has alot of information on Special needs adoption. Follow us to our new address Catching Butterflies 2! Thank you for reading!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My mom wrote me an e-mail. She said going to Thailand with Thomas (one of our adopted sons) might be part of what we need to do to get ready or Sarah to come. Well, Juergen and I agree. We both feel Thomas really needs to work through some of his past feelings of rejection. He waited so long for a family. He lived in an orphanage from the time he was 5 days old until he was almost 7 years old. That is allot of years wondering "what is wrong with me"? "Why doesn't anyone want me"? The truth is nothing was wrong with him. It is just sad he had to wait. He trys to reject Thailand, and everything Thai. Maybe it is because he felt rejected by Thailand, or because he wants to be German so we will fully accept him. We can only guess what is going on. I am sure he does not even understand it! The talk about Sarahs adoption has brought allot o his insecurity up to the surface. I feel its best to face it now. Maybe going to Thailand, and walking through his adoption process with a different perspective will help him see his whole life from a new angle. Maybe he can grieve some of what he has lost, and feel more sure of what he has gained. Adoption is always a story of loss and gain. Thomas lost his birth family, his culture, he looks different then most of the people around him. He gained a family, opportunity,and education. It isn't all good or all bad. It just is both. So we got our tickets today. God willing we are taking the whole family to Thailand Sept.. 2-14th. We are pretty excited about going on vacation. Mostly I hope it helps heal my sons wounded identity. None of us can build a future ...without making some peace with our past. Thomas will celebrate his 9th birthday in Bangkok, the city of his birth. I pray every year from now on will be better and better. I pray he will learn to really love the amazing person God created him to be. And he was born Thai....and that is great!