This blog covers our wait, travel, and adjustment to our 4 year old adopted Chinese daughter Sarah Shui Qing from Nanjing. There are over 1000 posts. I have moved my blog to Catching Butterflies 2. I hope you will enjoy reading this blog. It has alot of information on Special needs adoption. Follow us to our new address Catching Butterflies 2! Thank you for reading!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Hi, I read this interesting post from the wonderful mother of 9 children. She is working on the papers needed to adopt number 10 from China. She was replying to another persons question about adopting an older child. Most people, who adopt, will adopt a healthy girl under the age of two years old. All children need the love and security of a family! I've visited enough orphanages in my life, and I know personally no orphanage will ever replace a good family! Older kids do have special issues, but generally they do well! Maybe God would open up your heart to consider an older child? Here is Debbie’s experience...

Abbey, we have adopted 2 older kids, and had (American) adolescent foster
girls with difficult life experiences. Our son Tom was adopted at the age of 6
from Thailand. He spent the days in state run "preschool" and went home to a
foster family. He came to us with a history of food deprivation, beatings and
very little discipline. He was very impulsive and indiscriminately
affectionate. He also had some sensory issues (and still at the age of 15 will
unfamiliar things.........) because we were prepared for some issues (such
as hoarding,) he has made great progress! My Mother in Law is a social
worker and the best advice she ever gave us was "Some things you can change,
rest of the stuff you have to learn how to live with." He is a great kid!!
He has excelled in school. He is a very serious guy, and humor sometimes
confuses him, but he no problem fitting in with his friends.
Our daughter Bethany was 8 when we brought her home from Yunnan. She
had lived in a Social Welfare Home her entire life. She had no Idea what a
family was, or what love was. She was attending school and had a best friend
who was adopted a few weeks before she came home. She was eager to make
friends and with some help learning about American social behavior, is now a
very happy and popular 13 year old. Kids from institutions may have behavior
that they developed while institutionalized, where the fastest strongest or
loudest got their needs met first. They may have skipped some developmental
stages we would consider normal in our culture, and may need to go through
those stages. They may seem immature when compared to American born peers.
Bethany had NEVER seen an ice cube until we were on the plane home. The
flight attendant handed her a glass of juice with ice and she reached in and
grabbed the ice cube, giggling as it melted down her arm! Neither
our kids spoke any English when we met them. Tommy decided he was finished
during dinner (while we were in Thailand) and jumped up and ran outside to
play. The problem was we were in a hotel in the middle of Bangkok....... I ran
after him, through the hotel kitchen yelling in broken Thai “NO NO! Stop
THAT! “I am sure the kitchen staff who jumped out of the way were quite
shocked to see a large blond American woman chasing after a little Thai boy,
scolded him as we walked back through..... Learning some of their language
and picture dictionaries have been a great help. With both adoptions we
relied heavily upon our in country agency staff. We "baby "
our home (since many of the things we are accustomed to are new and exciting
to an institutionally raised child,) such as light switches, door
bells........... We backtracked and did a lot of fun preschool level play (
painted, clay drawing, bubbles singing silly songs, watching preschool level
developmental programs) to help provide a foundation for bonding , language
social and developmental growth. Tommy at the age of 15 now is an A+ student
& football player (although he still struggles with culturally based
language issues, he has the tools to help himself understand.) Bethany at 13
well at school, but would rather be shopping with her friends....... They are
both happy (most of the time, they are adolescents......) well adjusted,
bright and loving kids. We have several Special needs kids too, and Tom and
Beth are very loving and compassionate with their sibs. Would we do it again??
Yep, still working on paperwork to bring our 11 year old daughter home from
Shenzen. I would be happy to answer your questions, if you have specific
areas of concern. Debbie Mom to 9 and waiting for # 10 Leann , age 11, waiting
child repaired club foot.