Last week I made a necklace with colored paperclips with Sarah. This week we took a left over box from our beads, and began to sort the paperclips by color. She is now learning her colors in English. Next time we will work on the German names.

We got a temper tantrum before Juergen went to work this morning. He was putting Jessica our 15 year old autistic daughter on her bus. I've noticed that it stresses Jessica out to have Sarah come with them to the bus. Each of our 5 kids wants a special part of their daddy. Jessica wants this time with out Sarah. Sarah stayed in the house and screamed and stomped her feet. I warned her not to have such a fit. She kept screaming, so I picked her up and put her in her bed. She was angry, but that is basically tuff! Juergen was upset with me for being so strict, but I know a temper tantrum when I see one. We explained to her again that this was Jessica’s daddy too. She has been really great for me today. I think she really understood because she was role playing the whole thing out with her dolls. She kept explaining to the dolls she needed to go, but would come back. She kissed the doll and waved bye bye. Then she would leave. She needs to learn to share daddy! All the kids need him; she can not have him to herself!
This is unrelated, but Thomas read out loud in class today. He did so well, the other kids clapped! He changed school only a few weeks before we went to China. It has been hard for him to be in a new school. I'm so proud that the class actually clapped for him!!!We are having allot of trouble teaching Philip to read. Please pray for us and for Philip. There must be a key somewhere to unlock his mind!

Sarah got really dirty playing in the garden, and eating a popsicle. She decided that baths are great fun! She was giggling so hard! What a wild wet girl!!!Oh, and she let me give her the bath all by myself. No daddy, no Philip, no Nicole, not even Mickey! That just would not have happened a week ago!

This morning we painted. First with a brush, and then with our hands. At first, she did not like getting her hands dirty. When she learned how easy it was to wash the paint off, she went for it. Next time I need to take her out side to do body painting!

Sarah's first month home!

Can't Help Falling In L ...
By Andrea Bocelli
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Sarah in China

I had a good morning with Sarah. Juergen was at church with the kids, and I stayed with Jessica and Sarah. We did some arts and crafts. First we colored, then strung some beads, then made this princess hand puppet. It turned out cute. We made a strawberry chocolate cake. Sarah helped me test it! Yum, Yum!!! Here are also some pictures of Sarah’s new lady bug boots, and my roses, kiwi plants and grapes. The plant pictures are for my dad. I planted all 3 plants last year and they are all doing great. I’m even going to get fruit this year. Cool, ha!

I think some how Sarah felt a little guilt over her rejection of me this morning, or maybe it was Papa doing a very good job being boring (he was working on paper work). Sarah decided to go with Nicole and me to shop. We went to a garden center to buy some more plants (my dad would be proud). I found the cutest lady bug rubber boots for Sarah. She was very excited to get them. When we got home she wanted to put them on. I started to put them on her, but she wanted papa to put them on her. In fact she acted again like I was some kind of monster, and refused to let me touch her. In the store I was wonderful, at home I am dirt! That really bothered me and you can probably guess I was already pretty "bothered". I though, well, I am good enough to buy you the rubber boots, but not good enough to put them on you! I basically said no! I either put them on you, or you don't get them! She refused. She screamed bloody murder! We are talking screaming so loud, the entire block could hear her! I walked away with the shoes. Juergen put her in her bed to cool off. She rejected him too! She wanted Philip, because maybe Philip would take her side. We refused to let her see Philip. She lost it big time. Finally I just put the shoes on her. She calmed down, and eventually came to me to give me a kiss. She is so stubborn about what she wants. She gets unreasonable, and unbending! She gets so backed into a corner...and just will not bend. She is still a wild horse!
After this episode Juergen took her and the boys to an electronic store to get Jessica’s brand new VCR repaired. Somehow Jessica managed to break this VCR in one day. Philip and Sarah got lost in the store, and a frantic Juergen ran all over the place looking for them for about 20 mins. He just told me about it, and he is pretty shaken up! She wants to play hide and seek in the mall. She thinks it’s funny. I think it’s scary! I have gotten to the point of wanting to always put her in the shopping cart, or at least make her wear her squeaky shoes. Then I can hear where she is. It is allot of work to train a child who has never been out side a sheltered orphanage to deal with the real dangers in the real world. The drama continues...

Once again it’s the weekend. Once more I asked Sarah if I could take her to the toilet this morning. Once more (and it has been 6 weeks on Monday) Sarah screamed. Yesterday she soaked the bed because Juergen didn’t take her to the toilet early enough. Sure, she will warm up to me as the day goes by, but don’t you think I have a right to be just a little bit offended? Mama is ok when Papa is not there, but when he is there I’m chopped liver! I’m no 2nd class parent!!! I’m not begging for her attention! Papa is here, and she probably will ignore me most of the weekend. I’ve got a little pride, and right now it’s a little bit hurt. I love her attention, but I am not begging for it!!! Juergen said to her “Papa is here, its ok”. I guess that’s a mater of perspective!

In the garden

Last night Sarah had a choice to drive with me and the girls, or go with Juergen and the boys to play soccer. She decided to go with me. That's a first. She was pretty tired, and I'm sure that had something to do with it. The boys were walking. A month ago it would not have mattered how tired she was, she would never choose me over Papa.
Today she is a total clown! We have friends coming to play. I will post pictures later! To say she is coming out of her shell is a very big understatement. This kid needs to go straight to Hollywood...we are talking world class ham!!!

I've been tagged by Denna at two little darlings to tell you 8 things about myself. I'm supposed to tag 8 other people after this, but I'm not sure I want to do that. I think all my blog friends have already been tagged; I'm probably the last person on the entire internet to actually be tagged. This is my very first tag...not that I'm asking to be tagged again. But here are 8 things you may or may not already know about me...

1. Before I was a mom, I was a pastor. I worked for 7 years at San Diego State University as a student pastor. I was as poor as a mouse, but I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED my job! Even today, I love international students, and university students. I love influencing the future leaders of the entire world!
2. My favorite color is green. The color green reminds me of the state of Oregon. I spent a good part of my child hood in Oregon, graduated from OSU, and my parents and two sisters still live there. Oregon might be wet, but it is also green!
3. I had no mercy before I had my autistic daughter Jessica. I use to think you get what you deserve. Juergen and I both played by all the rules, and Jessica was born sick. She had 4 heart conditions at birth. Once her heart was corrected, we thought everything would be fine. At age 18 months our healthy charming daughter lost her language and her motor skills. It was a night mare. But through this trial, I have become a compassionate person. I still pray for Jessica to be healed, but I'm grateful to God I have a larger heart.
4. I studied Television directing and producing. I think I've been producing movies in my mind my whole life. I wanted to be a TV director when I grew up. I decided to become a pastor instead...only because God called me.
5. I broke my arm when I was 5 years old. I fell out of a tree in flag staff Arizona. Right now I am struggling with two sprained wrists. I've never been too graceful.
6. I had a world class crush on Donny Osmond when I was little. "And they called it puppy love"!!!After 16 years of marriage, I still have a crush on Juergen. I am so happy not only to love him, but to actually really like him after 16 years! I got very blessed!!!
7. I've lived in Germany for almost 11 years and I still speak really bad German. My uncle called me dummy when I was a child. I think it was because I was slow in my language development. My German comes slowly too! I wish I was good at languages, but I'm not. Still, I know I'm not dumb. I may not always use the right words, or spell everything correctly but I still manage to communicate!
8. I've had over 20,000 hits on my blog since the end of October. I don't really know why you would want to read the stuff I write, but I feel kind of honored that you do! I love writing my blog. I began writing it because I want to write a book one day about what God has taught me from having a disabled child. I hope to write that book someday. For now, the blog gives me practice. Thank you for encouraging me...I love it!

I just saw this video on one of my favorite adoption blogs and Chloe makes 6. It is sadly my van!

Today is father's day in Germany. Since Juergen got me a vacuum cleaner for mother’s day, I thought I would get him a new coffee maker. I just got the basic drip kind, nothing fancy. Juergen isn't much into Caffé Latte, Mocha, Cappuccino, Macchiato! He would not want me to spend $500+ on the top of the line anything. We made him pancakes for breakfast. He took the kids to jump in. They loved it. Nicole is getting too big for the place. Sarah loved it. I guess Philip was wonderful with Sarah. Both boys can be great when they want to be. It is so up and down with those two! Juergen is one of the world’s best dads! All our kids are amazingly blessed to have him. This mom is also blessed to have him! Happy fathers day Juergen...I love you! PS. I will honor my own dad on American fathers day, that's in June isn't it?

When you were a kid, did you ever think it would be wonderful to be allowed to clean your room? Today is German father’s day. It is also the holiday of ascension (the day Jesus went back to heaven). I'm not sure if it's a national holiday, or just a holiday in the south of Germany? Juergen has taken the kids (except Jessica) to an indoor play paradise called jump in. It is raining out side. I can imagine the place is a real zoo. I am getting some cleaning done. It is really nice to clean my very messy house with out the kids in it!!! It is very satisfying to see the floor clean for a change! I've actually been to the place in Israel where they say Jesus rose to heaven. It is a very small chapel run by Muslims. It is very poor and under maintained. Jesus said He would return to this same place on the Mt of Olives. That's an exciting thought! Until then, it's back to my dusting! I will write more about Juergen's father's day later.

The kid is starting to grow on me!

We were in the old city of Heidelberg this morning. Jessica had a Drs Appointment. She was being very sweet and calm. I took these pictures with Jessica, Sarah and Juergen. Jessica wasn’t too happy about going to school afterwards. I’m sure she just wanted to go home. We are worried about Philip. Sometimes it feels like we are in over our heads. There is so much paper work and medical evaluations, and visa stuff. I can do some of it, but poor Juergen has to do most of it. None of our children are just plain “normal”! They all have “special” needs. Even Nicole is gifted and needs special direction. I have to remind myself that our family may not be “average” but it’s no accident. We were placed together by our wonderful God who has a good plan for us. We just need His grace to get through all the “stuff”!

One of my readers recommends the book Beyond Consequences by Bryan Post. She wrote that they also have one with attachment issues, and this has been their best approach. I will order the book. I wanted to pass on the information. Not everyone reads all the comments.
Some of you have experience with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).We are going to get Philip tested for this. He is struggling with learning. He is a great kid; he just does not seem to remember anything. I would like to know what book you think is good on ADD. Also any experience or helpful ideas you may have for our son. Thanks!