I saw some photos from Nanjing, China today. It made me realize again what a terrible time I had in China. It was awful! I hate to think about those weeks! I still have two disposable cameras with pictures of Sarah in the orphanage. I need to have these photos developed, but I don't even want to look at them. I don't want to think of Sarah in the orphanage. I don't think she would want to see these photos either...not right now. We were in the store today, and came across a mom with her young son. They were Chinese. She was speaking Chinese to her son. Sarah grabbed my hand and held it tight and said Mama. She was sitting in her stroller, and she took the top of the stroller and pulled it down, as if to hide. No, I don't think she wants anything much to do with China right now. It's kind of sad. I feel like I've been burned. I need the fresh wounds to heal, and time and distance to allow my sad memories to fade. Perhaps then I can think again about where Sarah came from. China is an amazing place, but for me it was a very painful time.

The photo is of Sarah's empty bed in Nanjing.