This blog covers our wait, travel, and adjustment to our 4 year old adopted Chinese daughter Sarah Shui Qing from Nanjing. There are over 1000 posts. I have moved my blog to Catching Butterflies 2. I hope you will enjoy reading this blog. It has alot of information on Special needs adoption. Follow us to our new address Catching Butterflies 2! Thank you for reading!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

It was just fine this morning with all the kids except Thomas. Thomas never has done well outside the "normal" structure. He wasn't adopted until he was almost 7 years old. He has gotten a little better over time, but he isn't behaving very well on this vacation. He has been grumpy and a little mean.
I made the boys clean up their room. I even helped them. They were down to the last small pile of Lego, small pieces of trash, and a little this and that. Philip and Thomas both just sat there like their hands were made of lead. I was sick of fighting them. I said "If you are going to act like you are too tired to finish this, you are going to take a nap"! So they got into bed. Well, Sarah didn't want to stop. She didn't want to leave the boys. She wasn't going to nap there, but she was going to keep the boys awake. I took her out of their bedroom. Then my defiant Angel started screaming (and I mean screaming). I brought her to her room. She was kicking and slapping me. I am sitting here typing and waiting for her to calm down and take her own nap. Sarah was pretty strong willed and defiant all by herself. Her big brother Thomas is only helping her bring it to a higher level! I am trying to calm down..and just breath! This vacation is not going to be any fun as long as these two keep acting like brats! I don't demand or expect perfection from my kids, but I will not allow them to treat me with so much disrespect either. Some times I get discouraged because it seems like everyone else in the blog world only has perfect children. They are so cute and so sweet, and always do the nicest things. My kids are not perfect. They are very messy, and in many ways "messed up". They came to us broken. I don't know if they will ever be totally fixed. If they do get repaired (mentally, emotionally, and physically) I know it will be the hand of Gods grace healing them...just like he must heal all of us. I remember running away from home because I didn't want to clean my bedroom. If my memory is correct, my room may have even looked worse then theirs. I remember being angry, and my Mom letting me "cry it out". I would fall asleep crying, and wake up some how OK. Some times I need to realize kids just get "uncontrollably" when they are tired. Sarah has fallen asleep as I write this. I am calm now. Thank you for letting me vent all this on you. She will probably be all cuddly this afternoon, and so will Thomas. Kids like their parents to be "in charge". If you put up the boundaries and stand firm kids feel safe. You can not be mean, but you must stand firm.

PS. The boys took a 2 hour nap and finished their room in 5 minutes (no kidding). Sarah is still sleeping.

PS. PS. Sarah called my name when she woke up. She looked very sweetly at me and gave me a big hug and kiss. We quickly cleaned up the paper she had angrily ripped up on the floor before her nap. Now she is playing well with the boys in their clean room. Thomas built a very cool space car with Lego. He is some how excited because he found some cool pieces he had lost in the mess. Juergen will come home to extreamly sweet children and probably wonder why his wife looks so tired. Perhaps someone can tell him...he hardly ever reads my blog!