Today is a vacation day in Germany. I made pancakes for the whole family. Sarah loved the pancakes at McDonalds in China. I'm trying hard to reinforce the good things we have done together. She loved the pancakes, and she saw me making them for the whole family. Then Juergen and I tried to take Sarah for a walk with our dog Mickey. She got out of the car and ran. She fell right away and skinned her knee. It's the 3rd time this week she has fallen. I think she never really had the chance to run. She isn't very good at it. We had to bring her right home. We went back to the field to walk, but took Philip and Thomas with us. This time she only clung to Juergen. So much for reinforcing good experiences! I felt like walking home alone. Philip had brought his roller. Sarah wanted to ride on it. She was too small so someone had to help her. Eventually she allowed me to help her with the roller. We came to a playground, and she let me help her on the slide two times. After that it was Papa Papa! She would accept nothing from me. I just went to play with the dog. On the way back to the car, Juergen made her hold my hand. She did, and for a few minutes it seemed like she was even proud she was being nice to me. She seems so confused. She wants to control everything. She wants her papa all to herself. She gets so frustrated that he is not allowing her clinginess, and tears. He spends more and more time with the other kids, and he insists she be nice to me. Why is it so easy for me to see that life under Sarah’s terms and Sarah’s rules is not what’s best, but continue to think my way is always best? Sure, she is four years old and does not always know what is good for her. I'm 45 years old, and I'm realizing more and more how little I actually know. I have a bigger picture of Sarah’s life, but God has a bigger picture of my life! I must believe He has a bigger picture!