This blog covers our wait, travel, and adjustment to our 4 year old adopted Chinese daughter Sarah Shui Qing from Nanjing. There are over 1000 posts. I have moved my blog to Catching Butterflies 2. I hope you will enjoy reading this blog. It has alot of information on Special needs adoption. Follow us to our new address Catching Butterflies 2! Thank you for reading!

Monday, April 30, 2007

I thank you for the phone calls, private e-mail and the comments. I took a break from Sarah. I had been with her for 3 weeks. 3 weeks of rejection, and 3 weeks without a break. I was very tired. I slept. I had not eaten for two days, so I eat. Juergen has to go to work again this morning. He is getting ready now. The kids have two days of vacation, so I hope it won't be a 3 hour crying spell. Anyway, I am a little more able to handle it (I hope). A number of people have encouraged me to do holding therapy with Sarah. I've done holding therapy with Jessica my autistic daughter. I'm starting to think this might be my best course of direction. Right now I think I only want to hold her when Juergen is with us. This way she understands he agrees with my holding her. Juergen is also being firmer with her. He does not like her mean treatment of me, and he is beginning to tell her so! It is crazy but yesterday I could not even look at Sarah without crying. Since she will not leave Juergens side, we had to talk to each other over the phone. I did not want to cry or be overly emotional in front of her. It's better today. She actually let me dress her. I am just telling you you have to do what you have to do. My best friend Cindy always reminds me that on an airplane they say "first place the air mask on yourself, then place it on your child". I guess my day long break was just a way of getting some air. I think I have been holding my breath (my emotions) for just too long!