Thank you for your constant words of support and encouragement. I really do gather strenght and help from you. One person wrote this is not about me it's all about Sarah. On this point I must agree and disagree! Yes it's about Sarah who is a stressed out four year old in major transition. Yes we must do all we can to help her through this stressful time. But Sarah stresses our whole family out! We have four other children who desperately need calm stability. Thomas (now almost 10 years old adopted when he was almost 7) is very stressed out! He has always been a daddy's boy. I think the other 3 are more Mommy's kids. Sarah's constant clinging to Juergen and sadness stires up allot of insecurity in Thomas. While Sarah grieves the loss of what she lost, I believe Thomas is now grieving again for what He never had! He never had a nanny who loved him. He kissed that children's home goodbye and never wanted to look back! I'm sorry but this painful process is not all about Sarah, it is all about our whole family. Somehow we need wisdom to bring Sarah into our whole family, and she can not dominate everything. Juergen goes to work on Thursday. I'm already scared to death of how she will react on Thursday when He goes, and everyone else goes and I am all she has. We had a real battle this morning to basically make her accept her breakfast from me. All food will now come from me! I dressed her too with Juergens help. She absolutely doesn't want anything from me. I know in a perfect world we could just wait until she was ready to give me her trust, but Thursday is coming...and daddy must go back to work!