It's about 4pm here in Germany (10pm in China). Juergen took Sarah and Philip to IKEA to buy a cabinet that has a lock on it. Jessica is getting into all the DVDs and other stuff. We want to lock them up before she ruins everything. I was sitting with Nicole and telling her about my "fun" day with Sarah. She clings to Juergen for dear life, and crys every time I even dare look at her. Believe me this is a major challenge to my fragile ego! I told Nicole I hope it's not me she is screeching at...but just that I remind her that she lost her nanny. Nicole reassured me it was not me, or they would also be screeching at me too! Thanks Cole!!! Juergen was at the birth of Jessica and Nicole. He will tell you Jessica's birth was hard, but Nicole's was easy. I was there too...and I will tell you I felt the contractions. Jessica's birth was harder, but believe me it hurt when Nicole was born! He did not feel those contractions, I did! He does not get the rejection, I do! I may understand it, but I also feel it! I may hope it's going to pass, but believe me it hurts! It has hurt for awhile, and it hurts today! I look at her pictures and recall how charming and sweet she can be towards me! It is like living with Jekyll and Hide. Please someone tell me how wonderful I am...my ego needs some major boosting! I am so not deserving of this rejection!!!