Juergen and I tried to feed Sarah early, give her a bath and put her to bed so that we could enjoy a somewhat "normal" family dinner. It looked like our plan was working. She fell asleep with both of us in the room. We are trying to do these things together. Sarah of course would prefer to have Juergen feed her, give her a bath, and put her to bed but we both feel we must be firm on our both doing this. Unfortunately Sarah woke up about 10 minutes after she had fallen asleep! Nicole could not hide her disappointment. She hardly eat any dinner. I eat none! Sarah was very tired and wanted to dominate everything. The boys also began to act up because they wanted their Dads attention (they need his attention). I picked Sarah up and brought her to bed. I stayed with her as she cried herself to sleep. Juergen was at least able to put the boys to bed.

I'm getting allot of advice about attachment disorders. I'm hoping this is a short process we are living through, but I realize it could be a longer term process we must fight our way through. I guess it's too early to tell. Two things stick out in my mind. Number one is this really stinks! I am the only person who has been with her everyday for the past two weeks, and she acts like she hates me! She went to sleep, but would not even allow me to place a blanket on her! Believe me I know the girl does not realize what she is doing. She is a scared insecure 4 year old who is just reacting. I am the grownup who must not "react" but must be consistently loving. OK, I get it! OK, I'm doing it...but I'm telling you it STINKS!!! Number two is how strongly I feel I need to draw some lines so that my other children do not get to hurt in this transition. I'm sure putting Sarah to bed did not win me any points with Sarah, but somehow I must protect the other kids. They must get a piece of their dad. I need a piece of him too. I will order the books on attachment and read the articles, if I learn anything I will pass it on. I see her as someone who needs to find her place in our family. She is not the Queen (that is my place) and she is not the only child, and not the only daughter. I would be more then happy to share my life with Sarah, but I am really having a hard time with her desperate need to take over everything! I know, I know I'm probably over reacting. After all she just got home, and she is so scared and confused. But honest to goodness, it seems like she plain wants to take over everything! A very Hugh part of me wants to yell "back off sister" "stand in line and take your turn"!!!