We are now in Shanghai. We spend the weekend here and on Tuesday I kidnap my new daughter and take her to Guangzhou to finish the American citizenship paperwork, while a sad and tired (very abused and overworked ) Juergen takes our other calm and loving children back to Germany to escape their new charming little sister( I mean return to school). Actually I think we have moved past the grief, and now we are just dealing with a controlling and demanding little tyrant (a cute terrorist, but a terrorist). Poor girl, her parents adhere to the American philosophy, we do not negotiate with terrorists! Tonight we tried to feed Sarah together. She refused the food! I gave Juergen a bite, offered Sarah a bite, and then eat a bite. I gave Juergen a bite, offered a very stubborn Sarah a bite, then eat a bite. The plate got more and more empty. She could not believe we would not cave in to her demands. The food was gone (believe me, I'm not going to starve her).I later offered her food again and this time she accepted some! We picked her up and took her to the toilet. Again she shoved me away. Juergen and I are certain it is not fear and sadness driving this behavior now, it's a need to totally control Juergen. She treats him like a dog. she snaps an order and expects him to roll over! All the kids and Mommy are getting sick of it. We also decided that I do not want to deal with a hysterical child screaming bloody murder on the airplane Tuesday morning. I put Sarah to bed alone. I held her, not too tight. I talked to her. She cried for only 30 seconds. Then she got angry and hit me, and started to demand that Juergen come. He was strong, and stayed away. She continued to demand he come in the most authoritative manner! She sure is a strong personality. She barked orders at the door just like a little princess (Sarah means princess)! I kept telling her firmly no! I am the Mama! When she refused to look at me, I would tickle her knees. She got really mad and looked at me in the eyes and said no! Then, when she made eye contact I would tell her again I am the mama! She was not sad at all, or panicked. She was angry that her new slave would not come! Finally, I layed her down on the pillow and she fell asleep in about one minute.
I would not push her if I felt she was still grieving. I also would not push this if I did not need to travel alone with her to Guangzhou (actually with my Mom who she also rejects). I'm not mean or abusive. I am firm and trying to be clear. She is more intelligent then you can imagine! She speaks fluent Mandarin. She tries to reason like a genius! I held her and prayed out loud, asking God to take authority over our situation. He is the boss, not Sarah. She is missing out on a whole family by trying to control her daddy! I get to sleep with Sarah tonight. She is a very good sleeper. The real test will come tomorrow morning, when she wakes up and realizes daddy is not there, and she is stuck with me! She is stuck with me... and I'm pretty sure I'm gong to like her as soon as she learns who is boss! She is so amazingly smart! She is also very loyal, and I bet she can even be charming if she sets her mind to it!