The past 24 hours were very hard for me. Sarah is rejecting everyone but Juergen She is very shaken. She saw her nanny again, and then another woman we think was a teacher from the children’s home stopped her on the street and began talking with her. She will not come to me. She cries for Juergen even when he closes the door to use the toilet. She has diarrhea very bad. She doesn’t feel very good. I am trying not to take the rejection too seriously. Both boys did the same thing. It isn’t easy, but I understand how hard this is for her. We are making her accept food only from me. She doesn’t like this at all. She is very stubborn. Still, hunger is stronger then pride. She will eat with great protest! Her body language is very clear. She turns from me in the elevator. She clings to Juergen. She gives me dirty looks, like she absolutely will not like me! I think this kind of behavior would just kill a first time parent. Believe me, I do not love it. I basically try to put my own emotions on a shelf. I am sweet and kind to her. I let her have Juergen. I am spending time with the other kids. When she wants to eat, I feed her. When she eats I praise her. The rest of the time, I act like I do not notice her rejection, I try to act normal. This isn’t easy, and I hate it, but I’ve done this before. I know what to do. I figure she will have to accept me when Juergen goes back to Germany. If she doesn’t accept me, I guess it will be like forcing medicine down a kids throat. Not fun, but you do what you have to do!
Yesterday I fell and had to go to the hospital. I got an x-ray. Thank God nothing is broken. I’m very sore, but much better today. When I have more time I will write more about the hospital that was interesting! We go to a park soon. Mom and I took Jessica out for a long walk this morning. We had a great time! Here are some photos from our walk.