It's Sunday morning. Juergen is in the bigger bed in Sarah's room cuddling with Philip and Sarah. It is a very sweet picture. The only problem is I am not welcome. A giant wave of black ugly jealousy washes over me. I need to pray for help to push this dark self pity away. I'm glad she loves her daddy. He is the most wonderful man. I love him too. This is not the problem. I am not welcome to cuddle with her. I am not even invited to hold her hand. She is his daughter. She is mine too...but only on paper. It was easier to wait for her before we had our TA (travel approval). She has been with us for almost 3 weeks now. I am still waiting for her acceptance, and it hurts me to see her give her love to Juergen so freely while I am still waiting! God bless her future, and give me the strength to love her when she does not love me! Again I remember God loved us long before we loved him.